The hardware engineer says, "I want to spend the rest of my life living in a huge mansion with no money worries and surrounded by beautiful women who worship me.“ It appears that either the world takes Project Managers very seriously (unlikely) or else there just isn't all that much to laugh about (which would be sad). “The “P” in PM is as much about ‘people’ management as it is about ‘project’ management.” Over time, we have stumbled across quite a lot of inspiring quotes on all aspects of project management that are worth sharing with our readers. 50 Rules of Project Management. Related: The Ultimate Guide to Project Management. Project jokes that are not only about initiative but actually working kickstarter puns like Waiting for election results is like waiting for a grade on a group project and A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project. 600 x 210 gif 30kB. Managing projects is not an easy job. 1 Reply. But you probably have... thousands of times. We do! âYou have no idea where you are or where you are going. But, this does not mean that they are lack of humor. Dilbert: Oh no! We hoped that it would resonate with our audience and create a talking point for attendees. by Taureano Ent October 7, 2019, 7:43 pm 2k Views. A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. Project Management Recommended Books: The Fast Forward MBA in Project Management, Erich Verzuh. It will be continued next week. Dec 10, 2018. So, they give in and let the rectum be in charge. 51. PROJECT SMART is the project management resource that helps managers at all levels improve their performance. But it has to be *really* good. âYes, I am a Project Manager. 1730 x 1180 png 422kB. Friday October 22, 2004. Please contact us for more information! GREAT Model. Manager jokes. 1) A roomful - they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change. As a project manager, you can live through all the difficulties of our trade without a bit of sense of humor. The manager asks how he did it. A … We'll find a way to fund your project!" On the last day the departing manager tells him, "I have left three numbered envelopes in the desk drawer. Get Everything Done Ahead Of Schedule. It takes some experience and knowledge if you want to do it well. Project Management Books *though found in many variants, the original by Frederick P. Brooks is: "The bearing of a child takes nine months, no matter how many women are assigned." Thank you for voting. It cannot be done in one month by nine women. Project Management Quotes 1. Wally: wow all I did was that tiger thing. Below is a list of project management humor that I have curated from various sources and a couple of my own creations. Copyright Â© 2020 Bright Hub PM. 2) None, they like to keep employees in the dark. As a project manager, you can live through all the difficulties of our trade without a bit of sense of humor. Project Charter. Feb 10, 2019 - My collection of project management Humor is on this board. Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. All Rights Reserved. Project Managers Jokes. âThis cat knows how to complete legal research,â the pet shop worker explains. They cover the wide gamut of duties and responsibilities that fall under a project manager’s purview. 52. Fast - cheap - good: you can have any two. Seeking a VERY simple and lightweight project management solution with a working phone app for field crew. 1200 x 4419 png 425kB. Leading up to the 2017 PMI Conference in Christchurch, New Zealand, we created a video based on funny project management-related quotes from around the world. The most valuable and least used PHRASE in a project manager's vocabulary is "I don't know". A month later the boss comes to see them and tells them all they have been doing a great job, but the janitor is missing. Feb 10, 2019 - My collection of project management Humor is on this board. Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn’t have to do it himself. âYou must be a Geologist,â the woman replied. The blood says he should be in charge because he delivers oxygen to everything else. Nov 22, 2020 - I solemnly promise not to post the picture with the swing. A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. Project management can often be a cold industry, but that doesn’t mean that project managers lose their sense of humor along the way. tisquirrel.me. I just realized I don't recall any jokes about project managers or project management. Project managers are a tough, efficient and result oriented lot. Trick question. 10 slides. "I should be in charge," said the brain, "Because I run all the body's systems, so without me nothing would happen." They believe in deadlines, estimations, status reports, transparency, communication, and more than every thing else, in PowerPoint slides with the colors green, yellow and red. ~ Winston Churchill "It's a bad plan that admits of no modification." First off, some project management quotes about the discipline itself: 1. The quotes we chose to illustrate are: The Best Project Management Jokes Shared By Project Managers - InLoox. We will take a … Here are some great product manager jokes, if you’re ever in a situation where you need to tell a joke making fun of product managers, at the expense of product managers, which, let’s face it, is most of the time. – @tisquirrel. More jokes about: accountant, business, lawyer, management, work All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. But you probably have... thousands of times. Open an envelope if you encounter a crisis you can't solve." Good project managers admit mistakes: that's why you so rarely meet a good project manager. Without further ado, here are 62 project management quotes to inspire and motivate you: "Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning." Project Manager . In the real world, however, there are many more variables. 3) "This topic was resumed from last week's discussion, but is incomplete pending resolution of some action items. The pet shop worker shows her three cats that look identical. Project Manager Jokes A good project manager makes updates. Story Specifications Are like Sex — 10+ Cool Agile Jokes, Buena Vista Social Planning — Project Management Jokes #Part10, Fast – Cheap – Good — Project Management Jokes #Part7, How to Improve Blaming — Project Management Jokes #Part4, Add It to Phase 2 — Project Management Jokes #Part9. Last day the departing manager tells him, `` I will grant each of you one wish. $.. 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